“It’s kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real. Sometimes I can do that, but I don’t need an hour in front of a mirror. It happens very fast, and things start to slip away. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when it does, it scares me.”—The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (via thechocolatebrigade)
I don’t even know if anything I write is any good so I’m unmotivated and don’t even care to try most of the time now.
I guess that means it’s time to go back to drawing for a while. I wish I could get paid so I could buy a bass. Maybe a keyboard. Something new to keep my mind busy. I’m tired of thinking about everything else.
“at times i suffer from the strangest sense of detachment from myself and the world about me; i seem to watch it all from the outside, from somewhere inconceivably remote, out of time, out of space, out of the stress and tragedy of it all.”—h.g. wells
“Just when I thought maybe I’d done something right, she goes and falls apart. All the low moments make life seem unbearable at times but it’s the highs that keep us alive. I love you, oh I love you, when I’m on pills.”
I just rode a horse for the first time in a year and a half and I’m so happy.
It’s like that feeling you get after you cry and cry for a long time and then after you feel so relieved.
I really needed that.
“without coming to any particular agreement we began holding hands, and in the same way it was mutely and beautifully and purely decided that when i got my hotel room in LA she would be beside me. I ached all over for her; i leaned my head in her beautiful hair. her little shoulders drove me mad; i hugged her and hugger her. and she loved it. “i love love,” she said, closing her eyes. i promised her beautiful love. i gloated over her. our stories were told; we subsided into silence and swept anticipatory thoughts. It was as simple as that. you could have all your peaches and bettys and marylous and ritas and camilles and inezes in this world; this was my girl and my kind of girl soul and i told her that.”—
"i dont want to be in a relationship with anyone because i feel like i am too fucked up and that it would be a burden to whomever has to spend too much time with me." Honestly, I find those qualities extremely endearing. I doubt I'm the only one that isn't looking for someone perfect.
thats what everyone tells me. but i never believe it. i have to sit and watch my best friends tell me how fucking sad it makes them to have to see me how i am now. im fucking ruined. i just have to find other ways to be happy. im always single anyway and i would never get married so there really isnt any point.